Yeah, the computer place had one of these! For some reason. The aliens gave us prizes if we confessed stuff to them. Which I don't... think is usually part of it, but maybe the same thing will happen here!
I mean, I think it can be pretty much anything as long as it's true. Like if you copied the way someone did something because you thought it looked cool, or tried on someone's wig without telling them even though you weren't allowed to, or, uh... other things...
...Okay, maybe the first one was real, because I kind of stole the cool pose my assistant does with her gavel and started doing the same thing with my baton, but! I totally made up that second one, so don't ask about it!
[he frowns at the room on principle, but then continues on.]
So - basically, when I was growing up, the kingdom I lived in was cursed. It was slowly getting taken over by a magic forest that was growing nearby, and it was really bad news. The crops were failing because of it, and a lot of the animals we used for food were leaving, too... So it got to a point where pretty soon, nobody was going to have enough to eat. And I really wanted to fix it by breaking the curse somehow, but for some reason, nobody would tell me anything about the curse itself, no matter how hard I tried. So I knew there was a book in the castle that had a lot of information about it that I hadn't managed to learn yet, and I thought maybe it would help me figure out how to save the kingdom. It was pretty heavily guarded, though, so I had to break in and steal it.
Wait, so you're from a place with magic and castles and everything? [ as if castles are exclusive to magic places and don't just exist in like, standard europe. ] You look so normal.
[ but he guesses that alien from wizard canada looks pretty normal too, relatively speaking... ]
I think if I had magic powers I'd make some really cool clothes and then make them magically comfortable! Then I'd always look good no matter what the situation was! I'd keep my jacket, though, it's already the coolest.
Oh! Okay, I guess that's kind of fair, then. Were you going to be able to do the whole curse breaking thing though? Or did you just steal it to give it to someone magical so they could do it?
Well, I didn't know enough about it to determine whether or not it needed magic to break it or not... How to break it was one of the things I was trying to figure out. But I did end up being able to do it! With some help.
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[he definitely hasn't, but somehow he gets the sense of what they need to do... and he sighs.]
I don't even think I have anything to confess.
[patently untrue]
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[he will be even more salty when he doesn't get anything except being let out of the room, but it's fine.]
I guess let's just get it over with, but it's hard to think of something out of the blue.
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[casually stalls]
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[ no. ]
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...Okay, maybe the first one was real, because I kind of stole the cool pose my assistant does with her gavel and started doing the same thing with my baton, but! I totally made up that second one, so don't ask about it!
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[thinking... thinking...]
Uhhh, I stole a book once back home, but considering the circumstances I am not sure I would call that a bad thing.
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[which is sincere, because he has no problems talking about a significant amount of his lore, but:]
It's kind of a long story, though, just so you know.
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[ apparently the room didn't find that confession sufficient in its current form, so? maybe more detail is the answer?? ]
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[he frowns at the room on principle, but then continues on.]
So - basically, when I was growing up, the kingdom I lived in was cursed. It was slowly getting taken over by a magic forest that was growing nearby, and it was really bad news. The crops were failing because of it, and a lot of the animals we used for food were leaving, too... So it got to a point where pretty soon, nobody was going to have enough to eat. And I really wanted to fix it by breaking the curse somehow, but for some reason, nobody would tell me anything about the curse itself, no matter how hard I tried. So I knew there was a book in the castle that had a lot of information about it that I hadn't managed to learn yet, and I thought maybe it would help me figure out how to save the kingdom. It was pretty heavily guarded, though, so I had to break in and steal it.
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[ but he guesses that alien from wizard canada looks pretty normal too, relatively speaking... ]
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[not judgmental as much as honestly surprised]
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[tragically, he is not a wizard.]
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Well, I didn't know enough about it to determine whether or not it needed magic to break it or not... How to break it was one of the things I was trying to figure out. But I did end up being able to do it! With some help.
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