crau2 pcs: rupert

[unbested]

Comments

[agleam]

It was like that for everyone at first, but if you go ask one of the staff, they'll let you read it now. We're allowed.

[he nods, with a frown.]

I don't remember the exact wording, but... Part of it says that we're responsible for attending executions every week.

[unbested]

What?? When I told that Orion person I didn't remember they just said that was unfortunate and didn't offer to let me see it or anything...

[ ugh ]

And if that was everyone's reason, why didn't they just say that?! Everyone's always telling me I'm wrong and stupid for not understanding things but no one ever explains them!

[agleam]

It changed recently - if you asked them at the start, I don't think we could see it then. And I'm pretty sure you need to tell them outright you want to read it, not just mention it and hope they offer.

[a beat.]

Did anyone actually call you wrong or stupid?

[unbested]

Yes!!

[ ... ]

Well... I guess I'm... not sure if they did here...

[agleam]

Okay. Then... Maybe people aren't thinking that of you, like you're expecting them to?

[unbested]

W-well, they're probably still thinking it even if they aren't saying it out loud! Or they're just saying it behind my back instead!

[agleam]

Isn't it kind of unfair to just assume that?

[unbested]

I mean... I guess it's not everyone...

[agleam]

Okay, but it sounds like you don't really have evidence that it's anyone at all, though...?

[unbested]

You really think it isn't...?

[agleam]

I think it's a little worrying that you're assuming people are thinking you're stupid or talking about you behind your back.

[sebastian your self esteem!!!]

[unbested]

[ look he has reasons!! ]

W-well... whatever.

[agleam]

Come on, it's not whatever...

[he sounds legitimately concerned]

Doesn't thinking like that make you unhappy?

[unbested]

I mean, yeah?! It's not like I like hearing it! A-and it's wrong anyway, because I was the best in my class and everything...

[agleam]

Who are you hearing it from, though? I mean, did people back home actually say those kinds of things to you?

[unbested]

Yes!!

[agleam]

...I'm sorry. It's hard to go through something like that. But, just keep in mind that it doesn't mean the people here are going to do the same thing, okay?

[unbested]

Y-yeah... I guess...

[agleam]

...It's not always such a bad thing to believe people aren't going to be cruel, you know. Though I know that's hard, when your experiences say differently.

[unbested]

...Yeah. I know... there've been some people both here and in the last thing who've been really nice and listened to me and everything. It's just...

[ it seems like he's trying to decide how to put this for a while — how when a bunch of people pile on him all at once he thinks the worst and panics and gets really defensive.

eventually he just shrugs instead of saying anything. ]

[agleam]

[after a moment, still concerned:]

What is it?

[unbested]

I don't know! I didn't have an end to that sentence!

[agleam]

—Okay! Sorry. I just wanted to make sure you're alright.

[unbested]

Oh.

...Um, okay. Thanks.