You open the door and find yourself in a room with mirrors for walls. All seems normal - at first. But you could swear you see your reflection move of its own volition, out of the corner of your eye. As time passes a nagging doubt will form in the back of your mind: is that your reflection, or are you the reflection? If you smash the glass, will you be free? Give in to the urge and smash it, and you will find yourself out in the hall, disoriented and with minor glass cuts on your hands. Resist the urge, and your reflection will smash the glass instead, before emerging from the shards and strangling you. You will then find yourself out in the hall, disoriented and with strangulation marks on your neck. Only four minutes have passed.
[ we are still in the Normal At First phase here, and sebastian is just practicing cool objection poses in these mirrors. hello. ]
[ is this normal teenage behavior? dimitri, nearly the same age, wouldn't know. he's clearly more on-edge—even if it weren't a weird funhouse room, he has no particular fondness for his own reflection.
at least sebastian is making the most of it. or something. ]
We should keep moving. There must be an exit obfuscated by all these mirrors.
[ imagine a world where you hadn't pointed a broken umbrella spear at him the first time he met you... ]
Y-yeah. It's just... things work really differently than they did in the last thing I was in. Or at home. Like, you know, the killers were always people who made a choice to murder someone! So they kind of deserved whatever they got!
I thought... some of the stuff you said back there was good. It was really bugging me how so many of them seemed ready to just go along with it, even knowing it wasn't her fault. I know there wasn't any good answer, and they probably weren't really wrong, but. I don't know.
[ his usually serious expression eases into a small smile. ]
...I am glad you feel the same. Even if it does not change the outcome, it is easier to trust someone when you know they struggle over these sorts of choices.
[ he doesn't like pretending it's easy or logical, or that there's a 'right' answer. it's difficult to have faith in someone who makes these decisions without hesitation, without remorse.
his mirth is brief. ]
I learned in my previous experience that these places will do all in their power to make monsters of us. Forcing someone to kill, and then forcing us to punish them... it all plays into that.
[ dimitri will bump into him as he rounds one of the bookshelves at the library in a shower of stardust. sorry i have to extrapolate all these scenes from this hell canon, also i want one back please and thank
You are thirteen and wake up to a terrible pain lancing through your back.
It is, of course, all properly bandaged and healed as best as the clerics can manage. You are the crown prince of a Kingdom, the only son of the late king. Every resource that can be spent is spent to save you.
Still, there's only so much it can all do. Your injuries from the ambush are only just healing. The freshest wounds are huge swathes cut into your back by blades. Even with magic, they will hurt and scar, ugly and painful to look at for the rest of your life.
You do not consider that. Once you can speak, you order your attendants to bring another boy to you—one from the adjacent country of Duscur, no older than you are, and thought by many to be the reason you nearly died (again), despised for it.
...But he isn't who struck you down. No, this boy is the last survivor of his village, which your Kingdom burnt to the ground. No matter how much you insisted that they were innocent, you are not king yet, and the people of Duscur were sentenced, their houses razed, their people killed, their lands to be annexed into your own.
The country of Duscur, functionally, no longer exists.
No, you nearly lost your life because you leapt to protect this boy from your own men. To catch blades meant for him with your back as you huddle over him, clutching a child who has lost everything. Your back is small, but so is he. In the end, that is all your miserable effort amounts to: you almost die saving just a single life.
When they do bring the boy to you, you learn his name is Dedue. You cannot coax any words from him, shocked and afeared as he must be, surrounded by enemies, and you do not speak the same language regardless. He likely expects to die, as his family did.
Instead—you grasp his hands in fierce relief. You hope your emotions are palpable even if you cannot understand each other, total strangers as you are. You wonder if he understands why you feel like weeping, why you are certainly crying now, so grateful that he survived that your heart could burst.
Because if nothing else—you saved one person. A single life. For all that you have wished for death, your life amounts to something still, because it means that this one precious, invaluable stranger could live.
Dedue will spend the rest of his life telling others that you saved him. But the truth is, he saved you.
[ it is fine because i had to make up most of my memories lmao. anyway.
that memory is a lot; it's a world so far removed from his own — where every little personal success or frustration feels like a huge life-affirming or world-ending deal — that it's a little difficult to process, and if he wasn't feeling all of this and experiencing these thoughts firsthand, he doesn't know that he'd be able to understand the weight of everything at all.
that relief at knowing he'd saved someone, in particular, is so strong that for a moment when the memory's ended it still feels like it's his, before he remembers that no, actually, he'd just watched his best friend be executed today because he'd failed to save him.
he wipes the tears — probably both his and that past dimitri's — from his eyes on the back of his hand and takes a deep breath, trying to separate out his own feelings and put them aside. ]
...You're a good person.
[ maybe that's not really what he was supposed to take away from that, but. between his feelings here and what he's seen from him in trial, he thinks he's pretty admirable. ]
[ he kneels down to scratch the dog's head. he never had any pets, and he doesn't think he's that great with animals, but he likes them. a dog's never going to think you're not good enough. ]
Apparently this guy I know from home used to run this place? Like, this floor specifically, including the dog park.
[ his image of edgeworth is really going through some weird changes today and he doesn't know how to feel about it. ]
[ this one is a happier memory for him—a life-affirming one. but it's still a lot to process, especially for someone dropped into his memories without any real context, left to feel his pain and relief both.
he doesn't cry much these days though. so as sebastian swipes away his own tears, dimitri smiles, a little slanted. ]
I am just a person. [ he's not good. he's just human. ] But it is kind of you to say so.
[ he'll put a hand on sebastian's shoulder though. his touch is cautious even if it tries to be assuring. ]
I'm sorry if my memories... affected you. Are you all right?
[ he's finally gotten used to reassuring touches, so he doesn't flinch this time, and gives a bit of a smile back. ]
Yeah. I'm fine. It's just... been kind of a hard day, you know?
[ it feels a little stupid saying that now that he knows something about the days that led up to that memory he just saw, but he doesn't want to downplay kazunari's importance to him either.
...as if on cue, there's another cloud of stardust and a memory of another hard day plays.
(i rnged between two dad memories and got the worse one, so enjoy the blaise debeste experience.) ]
[ wow. while dimitri is basically a copy-paste of his own father, there's no resemblance whatsoever between that man and sebastian, besides perhaps a predilection for tears.
it's the unnerving stare and last words he says that leaves dimitri coming out of the memory with a distinctly sour expression, bristling slightly, but he very quickly smooths it over to concern. ]
[ it's hateful how often these memories happen; he looks sympathetic, because he knows first-hand that this is a difficult thing, and his question is gently asked. ]
[ god. he's just kind of standing in the hall outside the chapel and staring in, still trying to wrap his head around everything that happened there while he was sleeping. but when dimitri passes by, he'll tear himself away from it and turn toward him instead. ]
Y-yeah, I know. I'm just... I can't believe all that stuff happened while I was right there. It was bad enough when I thought it was just Kaeya in there, and then...
[ not that he'd be able to stop one even if that did happen, probably. ]
It still just creeps me out a lot. How we didn't even see anything weird in there when we left in the morning, but then coming back for the investigation later and seeing all that stuff... Like, I know it's magic or whatever, but it makes it feel like I can't ever trust my eyes.
We often can't trust our senses here. [ it's affection week, so he'll put a hand on sebastian's shoulder, gripping just a little. ] But otherwise, people would inevitably clean or disrupt the scenes of their murder. And... in a way, it spares you the feeling of waking up to see so much destruction.
[ why are you stuck in a gift shop employee lounge...
anyway, sebastian will stop by a little after the trial. he still hates this, because he'd come to really like and admire dimitri a lot... but he's also at a point where he isn't refusing to acknowledge the reality of their situation anymore. ]
Hey.
[ he's still a little misty-eyed, but he manages a bit of a smile with that greeting. ]
I'm... sorry all this happened. It must have been really hard.
[ sometimes a game just doesn't have a proper prison...
he's pretty messed up, but he'll manage a little smile for sebastian specifically. he likes that he's handling this so seriously, and that he's still alive. ]
...It was better me than most of you. [ he has a lot of experience killing people ] I am not very good at covering my tracks, and taking someone's life for the first time is a needless hardship to inflict on anyone.
Uh, well. I-it wasn't anything here, but, um, on that excision this week... w-well, the whole story's really long and complicated, but to save Bradley and Jason, I had to... I had to kill this kid.
[ he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. ]
I, uh... I explained to him that it was the only way to save them, a-and he agreed to it, because he wanted to save them too, but... it just... felt really, really bad, and I've... kind of been having a hard time with it.
[ he's lousy at comforting people, but he does reach to squeeze his shoulder. ]
Those excursions are not real, but I understand that your actions feel genuine. While I hope you can put it behind you... [ hm ] I do not think it is such a bad thing to feel guilt. If hurting someone troubles you this greatly—even an illusion, even one who agrees to die—then it means you still care about people.
It is certainly better than feeling nothing at all.
[ he doesn't tense up under that shoulder squeeze anymore like he used to. he listens... and nods. ]
Yeah... I'd be pretty scared if I didn't feel anything about it.
[ he rubs his eyes a little, wiping away the tears before any can actually fall this time. ]
...I didn't vote for you, so... sorry. I-I mean, I didn't vote for anyone innocent either [ diluc is just his permanent backup vote now ], but. I just felt kind of weird about it after you thanked us for catching you. [ ... ] I think what I'm most scared of now is getting forced into doing it for real here and having someone innocent get punished for it, like Bucky did.
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week 0 tuesday - door #14
[ we are still in the Normal At First phase here, and sebastian is just practicing cool objection poses in these mirrors. hello. ]
no subject
at least sebastian is making the most of it. or something. ]
We should keep moving. There must be an exit obfuscated by all these mirrors.
no subject
w1 ; sun
Ah—sorry.
no subject
Oh, um. It's fine!
[ maybe not completely convincing since he just flinched and jumped backwards, but. ]
...H-how are you doing?
no subject
[ he keeps a few steps away since it seems like sebastian is afraid of him. which is fair. ]
I should ask you that, really—you seem unaccustomed to... all that happens here.
no subject
Y-yeah. It's just... things work really differently than they did in the last thing I was in. Or at home. Like, you know, the killers were always people who made a choice to murder someone! So they kind of deserved whatever they got!
...But this isn't like that, I guess.
no subject
dimitri gets the feeling that killing isn't so cut and dry most places, but, ]
Of course. Those that take a life should be prepared for the consequences.
...However, these places tend to complicate matters. It forces us to weigh lives in a way that we have no business doing.
no subject
[ ... ]
I thought... some of the stuff you said back there was good. It was really bugging me how so many of them seemed ready to just go along with it, even knowing it wasn't her fault. I know there wasn't any good answer, and they probably weren't really wrong, but. I don't know.
no subject
...I am glad you feel the same. Even if it does not change the outcome, it is easier to trust someone when you know they struggle over these sorts of choices.
[ he doesn't like pretending it's easy or logical, or that there's a 'right' answer. it's difficult to have faith in someone who makes these decisions without hesitation, without remorse.
his mirth is brief. ]
I learned in my previous experience that these places will do all in their power to make monsters of us. Forcing someone to kill, and then forcing us to punish them... it all plays into that.
w3 ; sunday
It is, of course, all properly bandaged and healed as best as the clerics can manage. You are the crown prince of a Kingdom, the only son of the late king. Every resource that can be spent is spent to save you.
Still, there's only so much it can all do. Your injuries from the ambush are only just healing. The freshest wounds are huge swathes cut into your back by blades. Even with magic, they will hurt and scar, ugly and painful to look at for the rest of your life.
You do not consider that. Once you can speak, you order your attendants to bring another boy to you—one from the adjacent country of Duscur, no older than you are, and thought by many to be the reason you nearly died (again), despised for it.
...But he isn't who struck you down. No, this boy is the last survivor of his village, which your Kingdom burnt to the ground. No matter how much you insisted that they were innocent, you are not king yet, and the people of Duscur were sentenced, their houses razed, their people killed, their lands to be annexed into your own.
The country of Duscur, functionally, no longer exists.
No, you nearly lost your life because you leapt to protect this boy from your own men. To catch blades meant for him with your back as you huddle over him, clutching a child who has lost everything. Your back is small, but so is he. In the end, that is all your miserable effort amounts to: you almost die saving just a single life.
When they do bring the boy to you, you learn his name is Dedue. You cannot coax any words from him, shocked and afeared as he must be, surrounded by enemies, and you do not speak the same language regardless. He likely expects to die, as his family did.
Instead—you grasp his hands in fierce relief. You hope your emotions are palpable even if you cannot understand each other, total strangers as you are. You wonder if he understands why you feel like weeping, why you are certainly crying now, so grateful that he survived that your heart could burst.
Because if nothing else—you saved one person. A single life. For all that you have wished for death, your life amounts to something still, because it means that this one precious, invaluable stranger could live.
Dedue will spend the rest of his life telling others that you saved him. But the truth is, he saved you.
w4 ; mon
At least they're being taken care of?
[ they seem happy and healthy despite the fact that no one lives here? one yaps at sebastian excitedly. ]
no subject
that memory is a lot; it's a world so far removed from his own — where every little personal success or frustration feels like a huge life-affirming or world-ending deal — that it's a little difficult to process, and if he wasn't feeling all of this and experiencing these thoughts firsthand, he doesn't know that he'd be able to understand the weight of everything at all.
that relief at knowing he'd saved someone, in particular, is so strong that for a moment when the memory's ended it still feels like it's his, before he remembers that no, actually, he'd just watched his best friend be executed today because he'd failed to save him.
he wipes the tears — probably both his and that past dimitri's — from his eyes on the back of his hand and takes a deep breath, trying to separate out his own feelings and put them aside. ]
...You're a good person.
[ maybe that's not really what he was supposed to take away from that, but. between his feelings here and what he's seen from him in trial, he thinks he's pretty admirable. ]
no subject
[ he kneels down to scratch the dog's head. he never had any pets, and he doesn't think he's that great with animals, but he likes them. a dog's never going to think you're not good enough. ]
Apparently this guy I know from home used to run this place? Like, this floor specifically, including the dog park.
[ his image of edgeworth is really going through some weird changes today and he doesn't know how to feel about it. ]
no subject
his eyebrows hop up. ]
Really? Was he one of the... avatars? [ he thinks that's the term. ]
no subject
he doesn't cry much these days though. so as sebastian swipes away his own tears, dimitri smiles, a little slanted. ]
I am just a person. [ he's not good. he's just human. ] But it is kind of you to say so.
[ he'll put a hand on sebastian's shoulder though. his touch is cautious even if it tries to be assuring. ]
I'm sorry if my memories... affected you. Are you all right?
no subject
[ well, one of them remembered. ]
He was... uh... Greed!
no subject
Yeah. I'm fine. It's just... been kind of a hard day, you know?
[ it feels a little stupid saying that now that he knows something about the days that led up to that memory he just saw, but he doesn't want to downplay kazunari's importance to him either.
...as if on cue, there's another cloud of stardust and a memory of another hard day plays.
(i rnged between two dad memories and got the worse one, so enjoy the blaise debeste experience.) ]
no subject
[ he crouches down to pet a dog that yaps at him for attention. ]
I suppose as far as sins go, there are worse out there than avarice.
no subject
it's the unnerving stare and last words he says that leaves dimitri coming out of the memory with a distinctly sour expression, bristling slightly, but he very quickly smooths it over to concern. ]
Your mother... did she return?
no subject
[ he doesn't know this word and is incorrectly assuming it has something to do with avatars since the first few letters are the same. i'm sorry. ]
no subject
he shakes his head. ]
No.
...I think the police probably stopped looking a while back. It's been a pretty long time.
no subject
Oh, as in... greed in excess. To covet things like money and material wealth beyond much less.
[ he's not a fan, obviously. ]
But all people are a little greedy. As long as it is in moderation, there are worse vices.
no subject
Have you stopped looking, though?
no subject
[ look, dog he's petting, he learned a new word! ]
Yeah... I guess that's kind of true, maybe? Which do you think are the worst?
no subject
So I'm not really... looking, I guess. But I still hope she'll come back eventually.
week 4, saturday
Oh... hey.
no subject
[ hey. he frowns a little. ]
Unless you came here to pray, I do not think you ought to linger.
no subject
no subject
[ there has never been a case where someone wakes up in the middle of a murder happening on top of them and stops it. ]
no subject
[ not that he'd be able to stop one even if that did happen, probably. ]
It still just creeps me out a lot. How we didn't even see anything weird in there when we left in the morning, but then coming back for the investigation later and seeing all that stuff... Like, I know it's magic or whatever, but it makes it feel like I can't ever trust my eyes.
no subject
[ he can't deny that. ]
We often can't trust our senses here. [ it's affection week, so he'll put a hand on sebastian's shoulder, gripping just a little. ] But otherwise, people would inevitably clean or disrupt the scenes of their murder. And... in a way, it spares you the feeling of waking up to see so much destruction.
[ count their blessings, basically. ]
no subject
Despair, wrath, and pride.
[ he answers with confidence. ]
They are the ones that most often endanger lives.
week 5, saturday
anyway, sebastian will stop by a little after the trial. he still hates this, because he'd come to really like and admire dimitri a lot... but he's also at a point where he isn't refusing to acknowledge the reality of their situation anymore. ]
Hey.
[ he's still a little misty-eyed, but he manages a bit of a smile with that greeting. ]
I'm... sorry all this happened. It must have been really hard.
no subject
he's pretty messed up, but he'll manage a little smile for sebastian specifically. he likes that he's handling this so seriously, and that he's still alive. ]
...It was better me than most of you. [ he has a lot of experience killing people ] I am not very good at covering my tracks, and taking someone's life for the first time is a needless hardship to inflict on anyone.
no subject
Y-yeah...
no subject
You can speak freely if something wears on you, Sebastian.
[ he's going to be dead tomorrow so like, he'll be great at keeping any secrets. ]
no subject
[ he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. ]
I, uh... I explained to him that it was the only way to save them, a-and he agreed to it, because he wanted to save them too, but... it just... felt really, really bad, and I've... kind of been having a hard time with it.
no subject
[ he's lousy at comforting people, but he does reach to squeeze his shoulder. ]
Those excursions are not real, but I understand that your actions feel genuine. While I hope you can put it behind you... [ hm ] I do not think it is such a bad thing to feel guilt. If hurting someone troubles you this greatly—even an illusion, even one who agrees to die—then it means you still care about people.
It is certainly better than feeling nothing at all.
no subject
Yeah... I'd be pretty scared if I didn't feel anything about it.
[ he rubs his eyes a little, wiping away the tears before any can actually fall this time. ]
...I didn't vote for you, so... sorry. I-I mean, I didn't vote for anyone innocent either [ diluc is just his permanent backup vote now ], but. I just felt kind of weird about it after you thanked us for catching you. [ ... ] I think what I'm most scared of now is getting forced into doing it for real here and having someone innocent get punished for it, like Bucky did.