[ three trials in a row he's come out to whatever the detention center of the week is, and every time it's been worse than the last. he's not even sure what he's supposed to say this time, and it's several long seconds before he can even get a word out through his tears. ]
I... You didn't remember... right? The shadow made you... forget, or something?
Edited (i could remember to add the day) 2022-07-03 02:25 (UTC)
I just... If there were going to be two others, I wish you'd covered it up better so we could have caught one of them instead!
[ one of the ones with more personal culpa... culpability...? is that the word? he's not sure. but he could have justified it to himself as a prosecutor that way. ]
[ kazunari really means that much to him? he knew sebastian cared about him, but not... ]
...I'm sorry. I... I don't want to leave you, either, you know.
[ it feels like his heart is breaking, but kazunari can't leave him like this. ]
But... hey. In the prism, everyone made it back okay eventually. The same could still happen here. So it doesn't have to be goodbye forever, just - see you later.
[ is that true? no idea. but he wants to believe that it is, so he'll try to pass that onto sebastian, too. ]
[ that part from kazunari's memory about how he never had friends before middle school was a little bit like the reverse of his own experience — he'd had normal shallow kid friendships when he was little, but had pretty much alienated everyone by the time he was a teenager with his obsession with being better than them.
it wasn't until the study that he'd had anyone he could even maybe consider an actual friend, and it wasn't until this that anyone actually said they were. that crappy paint set was probably the first non-birthday gift he ever gave anyone besides his parents. ]
Y-yeah... it sounded like all of them were like that before. So...
[ he wipes his eyes and sniffs, lifts his head and takes a deep breath. ]
Me and Estelle and Rin and everyone— we're all gonna do our best to bring all of you back, no matter what.
[ it's good to see that sebastian has something to work towards. he needs that, kazunari thinks - not just to help everyone else, but for himself, too.
so kazu gives him a warm smile. ]
Then I'll be waiting. And if there's any way to write you guys before then, I'll find it.
Um, before I go, can you... tell me everything you remember about the shadow and everything? H-how everything worked? I want to figure things out, but... I never have enough information, and I keep misunderstanding things...
...You know you can stay as long as you want, right? RinRin said he'd be back later, too.
[ like one last sleepover. ]
But yeah, I'll tell you as much as I can.
It started early in the week. It was just... a shadow, that said it would help save Kumopi - my hostage. I'd heard about Clem, so I said no, but it took control of me, anyway. [ he hesitates before adding, ] It made me think... that Kumopi was the only one who really mattered, and that I had to save him at all costs. It was... a little like refracting, in that way.
But I couldn't confess during trial. I couldn't even help anyone figure it out, or he might've been in danger again.
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week 3, saturday
I... You didn't remember... right? The shadow made you... forget, or something?
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No. It made me lie. I- [ his voice cracks. ] I remembered everything.
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[ he really is so, so stupid. though he thinks he probably still would have believed him even if he'd known. ]
Did it make you pick the fingerprint thing too? Or...
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I think if either of us knew about that, I'd have never volunteered the ticket at all.
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You really should've worn gloves... Mine were right there!
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[ bro. this is so ridiculous. god he loves this kid. ]
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[ one of the ones with more personal culpa... culpability...? is that the word? he's not sure. but he could have justified it to himself as a prosecutor that way. ]
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[ ah, it stings to see seb like this... and when he'd tried so hard, too. ]
...I'm sorry, Bestie. I really let you down, didn't I?
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It's not your fault. That's why it sucks so much!
[ like, it's great that he wasn't betrayed and intentionally lied to, but maybe this would be easier to deal with if he could be mad about it. ]
I know I— I don't even know you that well, but— you're still my best friend. A-and it's gonna be really hard without you.
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[ kazunari really means that much to him? he knew sebastian cared about him, but not... ]
...I'm sorry. I... I don't want to leave you, either, you know.
[ it feels like his heart is breaking, but kazunari can't leave him like this. ]
But... hey. In the prism, everyone made it back okay eventually. The same could still happen here. So it doesn't have to be goodbye forever, just - see you later.
[ is that true? no idea. but he wants to believe that it is, so he'll try to pass that onto sebastian, too. ]
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it wasn't until the study that he'd had anyone he could even maybe consider an actual friend, and it wasn't until this that anyone actually said they were. that crappy paint set was probably the first non-birthday gift he ever gave anyone besides his parents. ]
Y-yeah... it sounded like all of them were like that before. So...
[ he wipes his eyes and sniffs, lifts his head and takes a deep breath. ]
Me and Estelle and Rin and everyone— we're all gonna do our best to bring all of you back, no matter what.
no subject
so kazu gives him a warm smile. ]
Then I'll be waiting. And if there's any way to write you guys before then, I'll find it.
I know you'll do your best.
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Um, before I go, can you... tell me everything you remember about the shadow and everything? H-how everything worked? I want to figure things out, but... I never have enough information, and I keep misunderstanding things...
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[ like one last sleepover. ]
But yeah, I'll tell you as much as I can.
It started early in the week. It was just... a shadow, that said it would help save Kumopi - my hostage. I'd heard about Clem, so I said no, but it took control of me, anyway. [ he hesitates before adding, ] It made me think... that Kumopi was the only one who really mattered, and that I had to save him at all costs. It was... a little like refracting, in that way.
But I couldn't confess during trial. I couldn't even help anyone figure it out, or he might've been in danger again.
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[ but yes, he totally wants this last sleepover if they want him here. ]
Yeah... I'd talked to her a little about it too, but... I didn't get all the details, obviously...
[ this lines up with what he did hear, at least. ]
When it left, was it just, like, an instant thing? Where you suddenly realized you could stop holding back, or whatever?
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[ but yeah, he nods. ]
As soon as the verdict came out, just like the note said. I guess it didn't matter what happened to me anymore, at that point.